It’s Time

You have to go forward and claim your space

Yes you are worthy, so go take your place.

Keep your eyes forward and rebuild your heart

You need to grow, it’s time to restart

You are important to those that you know

You own your space so go, my friend, go.

Creative Blocks

As an artist it is difficult to explain what a creative block feels like.  Last year was probably one of the toughest years I’ve had to pull myself through. Health took the forefront and now I can hardly remember 2021 at all!  I was losing my vision and that was depressing.

Of course, my doctors have it all sorted out and I feel like I’m patched up and ready to rock.  I’m sure artists can relate that during times like this creativity is almost non existent and THAT is tragic.  I was blessed enough to have family and dear friends who helped me mentally and emotionally.  I feel like I am 100% back to the real me.

Getting back to my creativity has filled my heart with happiness. My family filled my workspace with cabinets and storage, everything is within reach.

I guess the purpose of this post is if you ever get into a funk the easiest thing is to seclude yourself so please reach out to someone. Take care of your mental health it is just as important as your physical health. Find a good listener someone who you know will make you smile. If you know someone is having a difficult time have patience, be kind and listen. Listening to someone can make a world of a difference.

Much love,

Stiletto

It’s finally happening

After 6 months of waiting and 2 years of maturity Babbette has officially come into season, or “heat”.  We are ready for our first pregnancy and prepping for puppies.

“Babbette” CKC registered Mazinblue Dreams of Wild Orchid

Since the pandemic has brought an influx of puppy buyers and sellers, it wasn’t something any of us could have predicted.  We had veterinarians in check but over the last year their hearts have changed.  After contacting a few veterinarians they have all said they will no longer be helping with breeders.  This is not unwarranted and I can accept their opinions.  Some are wondering why I choose to breed standard poodles especially at this time.  My short answer is because people need help.  As a person with disabilities of now 2 incurable diseases which are highly debilitating, dogs have always been my therapy as well as my assistants.  Babbette assists me with standing, sitting and even helps me off the floor should I fall or seize.  Tootsie would stay by my side and lay on the floor when I have seizures.  These are small duties I feel that humans don’t have patience for.

Since I was very young I have always observed the relationship between dogs and their humans.  Service and therapy dogs usually cause scrutiny not only from the non disabled but also from the disabled.  I never understood why we as a society make it so difficult for us to be more accepting regardless of our opinions.   I shake my head at tons of stories about dog discrimination knowing that only a couple hundred years ago we were all going into shops and markets with our canine companions pulling carts full our groceries home with us.  I see paintings of dogs and cats laying by the family fireplace.  I see dogs leading the blind and helping with opening doors and drawers.  Those scenarios are why I breed my dogs.

I’ve done my share of rescuing dogs from shelters and from other owners and one thing ran true through each rescue story I have heard. They had behavioural problems, separation anxiety, among more. I will take examples of my own personal experiences. I rescued. a stunningly beautiful large Doberman Pinscher named Judge. The Doberman, to me, is the Cadillac of all dogs, my dream dog.. I called the owner and made a trip an hour and a half away to get him. They were a young family with 1 preschool son and another baby on the way. Before anything I wanted to take him for a walk. Now picture this, I am 5’2″ so this dog was basically like a miniature horse to me. He ran right up to me and his owner said “Wow he really likes you”. I walked him up the street and he looked at me with the softest sweetest eyes and we fell in love so to speak. The owner had his mother and he said Judge’s mother wasn’t getting along with him in her old age. For $500, I got this magnificent animal, his crate and bowls. One may read this and think what a beautiful story, but there are kinks to this story. We opened his cage up because in my experience dogs enjoy having a “den”. My heart sank when I saw parts of his cage had bent bars about the size of his muzzle. He had pressure points on his elbows and one on his rib. This is usually from laying on a hard surface for a long time and him trying to get out probably due to seperation anxiety. He was slightly underweight, I figured more because of crappy dog food.

Naps are the best!

I changed his diet and closed the cage and he would never be inside that thing again. He had bad habits like counter surfing and any plate unattended would be fair game to him. BUT he helped me balance myself, we would go for walks and I can’t express it in words, he just knew what to do without me asking nor extra training. As soon as I put his service vest on he was WORKING. He was focused and proud. He sat by me after seizures and he helped me to stand. He was 11 years old when he left us for Rainbow Bridge. He spent half his life in a cage and the other half with my family who loved, cherished and still miss him to this day.

You will hear conversations about ethical and unethical dog breeding and the pet population problem and so on, but my thought is that if temperament was focused on rather than the breed’s cosmetic value there wouldn’t be AS MANY surrendered dogs. Now, there are some not so good purebred dog breeders and I again have experience with them too. I was starting my own training with protection dogs and I decided on a Boxer. Not great for bite work but I wanted a dog who could protect as well as get along easier with children. I named her Jasmine and she was, as some say, full of piss and vinegar. At her first show, she lost her first place ribbon because she decided randomly to sit in front of me to get a reaction. The judge loved her but sitting is not part of the show game. If you have ever known a Boxer puppy you know they act like they have springs in their feet. At 6 months I had to get this lil girl in shape. I trained her basic manners like not door crashing and basically not being annoying getting up in people’s faces. I taught her to only accept treats from me and she knew commands to watch people and keep them at a distance. Everything was going well until she had a seizure. My poor dog was diagnosed with epilepsy and was prescribed phenol barbitol taking a pill twice a day. She was only 3 years old when she died. This prompted me to do a full out investigation on the breed and breeder. A friend of mine bought her sister and she died of cancer at the age of 4. These are extraordinarily young dogs with such disheartening health issues. My friend did her research and told me that their breeder would drown any white puppies that were born. Like whoa! We were both shocked and pretty disgusted. What I learned through that whole experience is priceless. I learned to not be so naive.

First snowfall 2021

When anyone asks me if they should adopt or buy a purebred I ask them if they want a surprise or a predictable temperament. Research research research go to shelters, talk to breeders, go through kennel club standards. I was even pleasantly surprised that my dog breeder partner and friend gave me a temperament guarantee. She even accepted a 10 year old service dog back as the owner needed a younger dog for her needs. All pluses to me!

It all starts with day one of my dog’s cycle. I have high hopes that my puppies will bring joy, service and companionship to people who need them. Quality over quantity! My poodle gals are so smart my children say they are like humans in a dog suit…

…and they’re super cute too.

Stiletto

Can I buy your human eggs?

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I found this story and it made me really think about the line between morality, society and the definition of love. There were many different sides to whether the donation of a woman’s egg to another woman due the moral and ethical dilemmas each side presents. As a mother is there really an age that determines whether or not woman over 40 years of age should have children. Is there a time that we should not have children? How does this effect the donor long term? Is this selfish and or selfless? What are the potential issues and consequences that can surface in the future?

pexels-photo-1642883

As a mother, there is nothing more beautiful to hold a wonderful new bundle of joy in my arms. The soft cooing and helpless unscripted movements of the limbs, eyes and smiles so I understand why there is that need, that feeling any woman would when holding a child of their own. However, it made me a little wary knowing that they went to extreme lengths as to put an advertisement in the newspaper and online. Was there a discussion about a monetary exchange and in what amount constitutes “selling a baby”?

pexels-photo-259027

There are so many angles with this story and I’d love to hear your opinions.

Leave your comments!

Original video: Desperate parents buying donor eggs on the black market | 60 Minutes Australia

I discussed this topic with my cohosts, listen to us here:

A Day to Forget

I let Babbette out for a quick break before bedtime and she came back in with a bee and an earwig stuck to her.  I saw her biting at something on her coat then she threw a dying bee on my floor.  I quickly covered it with a book and she kept trying to get to it.  She was mad! Lol I’ve never seen an angry poodle before but it was cute and concerning at the same time. It was as if she was insulted that it would dare sting her.  I threw it in the toilet because she wanted to get at it so badly and I did not want to risk a sting to her face.  I, then, spotted an earwig on the wall where she was standing.  I grabbed the same killer book and smashed it as hard as I could.  After 5 seconds I took the book off only to see it fall to the floor and come running at me.  Yes, I screamed and slammed the book on it again and successfully conquered the insect invasion.  Babbette paced from the bee to the earwig crime scenes with disdain, as if she had my back and was ready to save me from any more insects that dare cross the threshold.  She has been licking her belly so I’m pretty sure the bee won the battle before losing to the wrath of Babbette.

I had a really tough day, too.  It was a day full of problem solving and frustration.  I can relate to Babbette’s situation.  One minute you’re minding your business while doing your business and then someone stings you for no reason as another waits for a chance.  It’s unnecessary and extremely dramatic.  These little hitchhikers had ill intentions while causing discomfort.

Like my Bap, I too will get over this day. I’m annoyed and irritated now but I will have a better tomorrow. I don’t know if there’s a moral of the story to this day, but I am grateful and hope this day will fade for a better memory.

SS

Movie Review: Searching

Searching

I’ve been picking out some pretty great movies lately and I had to tell you about the movie Searching, on Netflix. The way it was filmed and written was really done well. If you like investigative online sleuthing you will LOVE this movie.

The movie had an in-the-moment feel and brought some serious security issues we need to be aware of while being online. Our children may live in our homes but we may not know everything we should. This movie also impressed me by the way it showed different ways you may be able to use in order to also help find missing people. We can take it for what it is. I felt strongly vindicated as a parent with trusting your gut. As parents we need to be disruptive and nosey about their lives. When you’re a parent it’s your only job.

Spoiler alert! It ends with a twist. I hope you enjoy the movie and the way the director and editor created it. Take care!

Stiletto

Movie Review: Chained

This is a movie that truly had me going one way then sideswiped me into the opposite direction. The storyline had some grit and rawness to it I found myself hiding my eyes… Often.

Picture a wonderful hot sunny day and a mother and son are excited about going to see a movie. Dad had some business to attend to, so he drops off his precious family. Mom and son are all smiles, before Dad drives off, a look of worry comes over him. He calls Mom back to the car and insists that they take a cab home instead of the bus, for safety reasons while handing wads of cash into Mom’s hand. Dad drives off and the duo enjoy their movie.

Enter the cab. As most of us know one of the most vulnerable situations where we require trust is in transportation and food. Taking a cab is a more intimate way to travel and with automatic locks it can quickly become your prison. Watching movies like Kiss The Girls starring Morgan Freeman has given me some paranoia. As soon as I saw that cab roll up on our Mom and son team, I knew they were in for a bumpy ride. The driver skips their exit, the phone has no service, the driver locks the windows and doors. The panic begins as both Mom and son scream with threats and cries. The car finally stops at an intersection on a dirt road on a countryside. The driver and one of my favourite actors, Vincent D’Onofrio, towers over the car, opens the back door where Mom is screaming, he hits her and silences her.

They pull up to an unkempt house and into the garage. The massive man pulls Mom out of the cab by her hair and as she says her last goodbyes, her son relieves himself as he hears her cries of terror until there is an ominous silence.

The man proceeds to set some ground rules down for the innocent 9 year old. Chores and duties around his house in exchange for basic human needs like food and small freedoms. As the movie title says, the boy eventually becomes chained to the wall by his ankle.

8 years go by as the boy is also made to help his psychopath captor clean up after each of his murders. He is made to collect trinkets, cash and newspaper clippings regarding each of his victims. The boy is now a teenager and is starting to become defiant. The man reacts to his defiance in 2 ways. His first reaction is to yell and be physical but when he sees that the boy is numb to his disciplines a look of pride comes through and with that a weird respect and affection comes over him. The man gives him books about human anatomy and is ordered to study them for when it’s the boys turn to “hunt” for his own victims.

One night, the man gives the boy a gift in the form of a young girl. The boy sits across from her, a large knife in hand and the dilemma of his reality sinks in. Will he succumb to the grooming of his captor?

This movie was a great one. It kept my attention and blew my mind with the twists and turns. If you like psychological horror movies, give this a watch. You can find Chained on Amazon’s Prime Video.

I’ll be back to share more!

Takeout food almost killed me!

Hello my friends and I hope you are all doing well. So let’s talk about home cooked meals. As a mother of 6 children I have been challenged with coming up with quick and easy ways to feed the family. During this current pandemic and the most recent 4 week lockdown here in my city, even ordering food can have risks. A few weeks ago, I had a fight with some food poisoning after ordering some takeout. Some people may have slight fevers and other not so pleasant discomforts in the stomach and bowels. However, due to my ever complexing Multiple Sclerosis disease, food poisoning can be a full on battle.

Yes I had tons of life stress that contributed while also concealing what was happening with me. My stomach started feeling and looking swollen. I noticed but wasn’t too alarmed as my disease, meds, stress etc. can cause some bloating. I started feeling fatigue, also a common symptom of MS, and my stomach had a burning feeling and THEN the real pain began. My lower back started hurting, I could hardly walk. The pain was so bad and I was so weak I opted to buy a wheelchair to help. I was mostly bedridden and I was tired of staring at the walls. I started feeling hot and cold chills and with the state of the world as it is, I did not want to go to the hospital unless it was absolutely necessary, but something was urging me to do something about it. I called my neurologist because I was going downhill fast.

After having so much pain walking and simply moving my legs, my neurologist asked me questions, did some physical tests. Before I go on, I would like to point out that these physical tests are freaking hard! There’s pulling, pushing, walking, eye testing, coordination testing, balancing, reflex testing and trying to remember all the concerns I had.. I digress. We looked at my recent brain MRI and he didn’t see any new nor active lesions. At the end of it all we discussed steroids.

As much as I love to be pain free, I take steroids with my Ocrevus infusion every 6 months and I really wanted to avoid the side effects as much as possible. For example, “roid rages”, eating like a bottomless pit but most importantly over time my bones will become brittle. We discussed our options and decided to do a full panel blood test, get a new spine MRI and then decide what the next step is pending the results. The wait sucked really hard, but what the blood test revealed was pretty shocking.

Are you ready for this one?! I had E.coli poisoning!! My nurse called to check on how I was feeling and tried to assure me that it should clear up on its own. My neuro said the small infection is exacerbating my MS symptoms, kinda like hiding in plain sight.  We went ahead with getting another spine MRI just to be sure.  My family physician and nurse contacted me and prescribed 1 dose of fluoroquinolone.  A few weeks later, my spine MRI showed no new nor active lesions and I was starting to feel better each day after.

What this whole ordeal came down to is food.  All the risks and trust we put into others to prepare our meals is incredible.  It made me really think about my family and how we have all consumed this food and could have ended up in a full disaster if my children were effected.  Now I’m a lot more cautious of what I and my family eats.  I’ve gone back to my roots, cooking, baking and creating different recipes that my kids are so happy with.  My most recent creation was a 5 layer lasagna.  I made the noodles and layered the dish while I watched Dr. G Medical Examiner.  Perhaps watching her show made me hyper aware about what goes on inside our bodies and contributing factors to deaths.  The best thing that I’ve done, as a direct result of using quality ingredients and home cooking, is leading by example.  My children love to watch and help me cook and bake.  Their eyes brighten up when I make their favourite treats and dishes, but even more so when they know they helped me.


I hope this post gives you some cooking inspiration and health awareness.

Take care!

SS

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