I took some time to really reflect on what I want to do with my artwork and what direction I wanted to take it. I remember my mentor and the encouragement of so many of my supporters. It is time to get out of my own head.
Once I picked my paintbrush up my whole world started to come to life. Like pieces of a puzzle falling easily into place. I was working on details today and I could feel good energy flowing through every stroke. Spending time chatting with friends or listening to music while I created felt so natural. Living in fear of anything is such an unnatural feeling. Like it’s not supposed to be in my head, like my body and mind rejects it right away. I’ve seen these same things in others. It’s so nice to be able to share things with someone who understands. I’m good at loving people, but I’ve been really terrible at loving myself and picking out every mistake I’ve ever made.
At this point in my life every single person I’ve let into my life has been the most incredible teachers. The invaluable lessons I’ve learned. Holy crap they were hard but if they weren’t so hurtful I would have continued to be around people who lie and are manipulative awful human beings. Whether it be for acceptance in a weird adult clique or out of habit these people were never good for anyone. People lie, people talk shit, but it’s probably because that’s what they are, great big steamy piles of shit. No one of any class wants to be around that.
With a new attitude and a different direction I think I can navigate through this better route on this journey. I’ve been planting, creating and trying new recipes. I’ve finally resigned to the fact that this whole world is different. It’s time to do what inspires you. It’s a great ride, you guys!